Life sometimes feels like I am stood somewhere beautiful holding a big bunch of helium balloons. Every balloon is a responsibility I have taken on – being a mother, working part time, running a lifegroup, organising a Christmas party. It can be quite a big bunch of balloons that I’m holding!
Most of the time, I only take on things that I know I can cope with, that I can stay grounded whilst doing. But then sometimes people come along and start thrusting balloons into your hand and there is nothing you can do to stop them. Sometimes you take on things when you are not in the right mind, and find that really you can’t do them. And sometime things that you were completely fine with doing before, you now are getting stressed over doing – the other added responsibilities mean you are lifting off the ground.
Right now, I am starting to lift off the ground with the number of balloons I am holding. I am not grounded anymore. I need to let some of them go.
But how do you decide which ones to let go?
This is my problem right now, and whilst starting to float in the air I need to decide which things will help me get back to that grounded place. Which things will relieve the pressure enough to bring me back down to earth. There are obviously certain responsibilities that I can’t (and wouldn’t ever want to! let go of – being a mum and a wife and a Christian are the core of who I am and the number one priorities. After that comes things like work, because I wouldn’t be able to do anything else if I couldn’t pay the bills! But then there are a lot of things in my life which I do extra to that. Some are things I enjoy and that are expressions of my character. Some are things that I want to do to love and serve my community. Some are things that I do to love and serve my church. Some are things that have fallen into my path because of circumstances.
But you know what – letting go is against what I normally believe in. I am a true believer in committing to the cause, in not letting people down and in putting others before myself. I am not a quitter, and it feels unnatural to leave things or relinquish responsibility for any other reason than moving home or area. It is hard, and I hate putting responsibilities onto others who are also looking over-burdened, but I must trust that God knows what he is doing and will raise up others to fill the space.
My prayer tonight is that as I learn to let go of some balloons, there is somewhere there who is excited to catch them. Amen.