Tips for dealing with two


So I am now one month in to being a mum of two crazy kids, and thought I would share my wisdom (ha ha!) with you all on how to cope with two.  There are some tips in here that I had read elsewhere and have worked brilliantly and a few tips that I have learnt the hard way.  I am sure I will keep adding to these as the boys grow, but here’s just a few for starters…..
A photo posted by Rachel Ridler (@ace_rach) on
  • Keep your routine.  You will have spent the last few years developing a successful routine that works for your other child, so why throw away all that hard work!  As best you can, keep to their schedule so that there is some consistency for them.  New baby doesn’t know any different so will just have to fit in! We found that within a couple of weeks Reuben had adjusted his bed time and final feed to roughly when Sam was going to bed, so already fitting in with family life!  And he was more than happy to come along to Sam’s toddler groups and watch the chaos! 
  • Make the most of paternity leave.  Those precious few weeks when dad is around so you can be one on one with each child really can make a huge difference. Focus on recovering from labour, establishing feeding and some start of routine and just generally prepare for when you have to fly solo.  I was lucky that my hubby managed to save a weeks holiday so he had three weeks with us instead of the normal two, and by the end of the third week we were almost back to normal life (well at least we had emerged from new born haze…..)
  • Deal with the toddler first, baby second.  Who will remember you ignoring them?  Who will follow you round and go into complete meltdown if you don’t deal with them?  It might seem really hard and heartless to leave your tiny baby crying, but it will be much easier to deal with their needs if you have a happy toddler who thinks he is number one. Yes it may then take a little longer to soothe baby, but at least you won’t have to do it with another crying child wrapped round your leg.  
  • Try to put baby down as much as possible so you can play with your older child more.  I remember getting really upset in the first few weeks of having Reuben that I was missing out on time playing with Sam – he was my world before I now I was pinned to the sofa with the new baby.  So pretty early on I have started trying to put Reuben down to play and also once he is asleep so that I am freed up to have some fun with Sam.  Sam then feels valued and less like the rejected child, and we also get more proper play time rather than tv watching time! 
  • Don’t give up on discipline.  It is really tempting to give extra warnings when you are tired and who can be bothered to drag a toddler to the naughty spot whilst you are breastfeeding?  But I promise you that if you waiver on your chosen method of discipline your toddler will notice and take advantage!!  They will push to see how far they can get before you will actually go through with it and by then you will be ultra tired and unable to deal with it.  Be consistent and it will make your life a lot easier!!!
  • Prepare yourself for whinging, jealousy and set backs.  No matter how much you talk about the baby coming, read lovely story books about new babies and get your older child a present from the baby, it will still be a HUGE adjustment for them when the baby actually arrives.  And so you never know how they will react.  There probably be whinging, crying, meltdowns and regressions.  We had potty training regression and emotional meltdowns which was super fun!
  • Look after yourself.  The days are long, and if you skip your lunch or snack then you won’t have the energy to look after your two lovely kids. Will it scar your baby if you take an extra minute to make a cups and grab a snack before you feed them?  Or to make your toddler sit quietly for half an hour so you can have a rest.  Looking after you will ultimately make you a better and more capable mum so make sure you prioritise it! 
  • Preparation and organisation is key.  I am not suggesting you have to schedule every second of every day, but the better prepared you can be will make the day run smoother with two.  I like to plan at least one trip out of the house each day, even if it is just a walk round the block.  And now it is winter I plan and prepare a craft activity to do in the dark afternoons to keep the toddler busy.  I also try to get all snacks and meals out in the morning and ready so that pre-mealtime whinging is reduced!  Plan and prepare for a short time once the kids are in bed and you will be really grateful the next day when you have fun activities ready and meals sorted. 
  • Distract your older child with new activities or treats.  As I mentioned above, it’s good to have some crafts or other activities prepared, and new ones will be exciting for your toddler and make them feel like you have put in that extra effort.  I also tried to save up vouchers and ideas for treats before baby came to use after, such as free entry to play centres. Distraction is key so that your older child doesn’t get bored or annoyed that your attention is now split with the new baby. 
  • Sometimes opt for the easy life.  When you are super tired and have a whingy toddler, opt for the easy life and let them watch tv for a bit or play on your iPad.  Yes you don’t want them to sit in front of screens all the time but for those times when you really can’t cope with the battle, let them sit and watch twirly woos for the hundredth time and enjoy the respite. 
  • Don’t feel guilty when you can’t do it all.  We all beat ourselves up when we can’t be super mum, but we know that we shouldn’t!   Let a few things slide and if you get to the end of the day with two children who have been fed and changed then you have done a good job. 



6 thoughts on “Tips for dealing with two

  1. Rosie Little Fish says:

    This post has come at a great time for me. I'm pregnant with our second, but, although I am excited, I feel more nervous about coping with 2, especially with no family nearby. These are great tips. Like the idea of saving up a few new ideas/treats for when baby comes. x

  2. Rachel Ridler says:

    Good luck with your second! I was terrified as to how I would cope with two as like you don't have much family close by. I won't lie and say it was easy! It has been tough, but we are starting to get there. Hope you can use some of the tips and have a smoother transition!

  3. Everything Mummy says:

    Really great tips, I have three daughters all very close in age so at one point all three were at home with me and it can be tough – routine is a big thing it keeps me sane Thanks for linking up to #sundaystars x

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